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I was asked to share a few words of wisdom for a written “Guide” that’s being assembled for a young, beautiful bride who is to be married this October.
Ok, here goes…
Over the years, I’ve learned many things about the overall (and ongoing) pursuit of happiness. Not just from being blessed with an extremely special marital relationship but, oddly, I’ve discovered so many answers about inner, emotional freedom from teaching in prison, a place of confinement and considerable darkness.
The secret for creating and maintaining a life of love and light…
For most of us, we wait for others to be for us what we need so we can “be happy.” We want to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be appreciated and, ultimately, to be “heard.”
Instead of waiting for life to bring you love–which is what we normally do, you can choose to “be” what you want to see! If you speak and act in ways that epitomize what love and compassion are in ALL your interactions, you’ll see how quickly you will generate the feelings and quality of life you’re after– all by yourself! I’ve found that this is the most efficient way to be in control of your own happiness and to become a source of light to others.
Of course, making a great roast chicken certainly helps, too…
Tags: advice on a happy marriage, happiness, happy marriage, How to be in control of your own happiness, how to get emotional freedom, how to have a happy marriage, life lessons on maintaining a happy life, pursuit of happiness, recipe for a happy marriage, rules for a happy marriage, secrets of a happy marriage, words of wisdom for a new bride
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“Be what you want to see”
I love this phrase…it’s so simple but not always so easy to live. You spoke this phrase to me last week and I’m finding that in order to achieve this I must be completely present in the moment. I need to plant my feet a bit firmer on mother earth!
Comment by Annie — August 10, 2009 @ 6:38 pm
Yes, Annie, you’re right (about everything). It’s not easy to take responsibility for your own happiness. It’s much easier to give outer circumstances the job and then to blame the world for not being what we thought we deserved. At first, it’s the most difficult because we usually walk around on automatic pilot–not thinking before we give power to (and then act on) our random thoughts and feelings. We all need to be really awake to avoid falling into habitual reacting because that’s when we leave “this moment” and start acting out of our history. Instead of being the version of ourselves that we really want to see, we attach old negative actions to new moments, all because they evoke a familiar negative feeling. To stop this we need to deliberately slow down and actually become the boss of our thoughts and where they take us both, on the inside and outside. This takes guts and perseverance, I will admit, but it’s SO worth it to finally become “the big one” instead of letting old perceptions and perceived limitations run the show. I’m so proud of you for taking this on… I’m here for you now and always.
Love,
Lauren
Comment by Lauren — August 10, 2009 @ 7:38 pm
You are a great writer Lauren. Reading your words makes me feel as if I am sitting beside you. Thank You!
Elieen M.
Comment by eileen — August 14, 2009 @ 1:40 am