Is abundance, which is something that we all want, a thing or a feeling? I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. I’ll bet many of you, too, might have also been tossing a question something like that around, with money being so tight and with the nose of the impending holidays pressing on the window. I mean, if “things” are a necessary prerequisite to being able to experience abundance, then it makes sense to think that we would (should) be forced to relinquish this experience when we have to live with fewer “things” because of outer circumstances that change.

Unfortunately, it’s this “common-sense” assumption that, I think, is at the crux of a problem that plagues many of us, me included, who like to live a life that reflects a tangible interaction with robustness and sensory lushness—both of which is what I’ve come to believe accurately defines what the feeling of abundance is and what’s at the heart of what we’re truly after. For me, it’s the spiritual essence buried within what a table bursting with aromatic, gorgeous foods symbolize; a life that exemplifies ones power to deliberately create a scene that evokes the feeling of fulfillment, and on several levels. So, what’s the problem?

Although the economy is a factor, I didn’t just start thinking about this. And, although I’ve had no trouble trimming the extraneous from my day to day existence, when I’m cooking, it’s different. I’m different. Since the kids have all been away at school, I’ve had a really tough time scaling down and adjusting my food purchases to reflect that I am now, on most nights, cooking only for Jon and I. Friends who’ve, over the years, experienced meals in my home would, I’m sure, laugh out loud since they know first hand (as do my children), that saying that I cook a lot of food is an understatement of huge proportion, regardless of how many people I’m supposed to be feeding. Trust me, though, no one ever complains. Who would complain about the opportunity to dive into the amazing look, scent and taste of a table sprawled abundantly with deliciousness? That doesn’t mean, though, that they don’t make some necessary adjustments….Some of my friends literally ”train” before dinner at my house; purposely not eating much and work-outing out extra-hard for two days!  Funny—we actually have one friend who always eats more than he can comfortably hold, and (like clockwork) this causes him to promptly have what’s become a ritualistic sneezing attack!

(OK, I do get a warped sense of satisfaction knowing that and, yes, I do love the look of abundance on the table, but I don’t like feeling captive to it; and I’ll admit that at times I do (but this blog is evidence that I’m seriously working on it…).

It’s not that I don’t know that I should be making amount adjustments in my food purchases, especially now that it’s just the two of us, because I do. And I’ve been getting better but, whenever I’m about to talk to “Dom” my butcher or when moseying down the produce aisles, I still feel this very discernable tug of war going on inside my head. One side (the “big-girl” side) always asserts that it’s really and truly time to scale down. But the other side–the feeling side (dare I say, the scared side)—seems to, most often, win. The victor, the voice of vulnerability, always jabs back with a defense like “but you NEED three bags of spinach (which is what I buy when feeding six) because it cooks down so much”—or “a plate of four double-cut lamb chops wouldn’t look nearly as sexy on the table as a platter of six would—And we can always use the leftovers (which I have yet to do) …And don’t forget that Mango, the dog who will always stand by you even when your children get married, she loves those lamb chops!” I must say that Miss Mango has really lapped up in all of this!

Back and forth the voices spar: “Leftovers are one thing, Lauren, but this is just silly!” And then the other (clearly, the Jewish mother in me) will chime in with “Oh, you’ll buy less next time, remember that someone could unexpectedly stop by and it’s always (always) better to have too much than not enough.” It’s as if both voices use this (uninvited) inner chatter to shake me by the shoulders; one urging me to wake up (maybe grow up) and the other, wanting me to stay stuck –fearing the feeling of experiencing something smaller. Clearly, to me, smaller (at the table) means something very big. 

Yes, I’m onto something….

So, a few weeks ago, instead of continuing to snuff these voices out like some annoying telephone solicitation, I finally decided to stop rebelling and, instead, slow down and spend some time listening and learning.  (I’ve found that once I decide to figure things out, it’s not nearly as gratifying to resist responding intelligently to my “issues.”) 

I began to understand that the importance I’ve attached to my adult-ability to create a sumptuous scene whenever I want (regardless of how many people are able to interact with it) represents how I transformed my home-life as a child into something more wonderful, and that’s good. But, I also learned that I secretly felt that scaling down somehow equaled living with less joy which was (is) not something I’m prepared to do. So what did I do?  I hung on to an old version of my definition of abundance out of the fear of loss. With this realization, I became determined to start to make the obvious alterations to my every-day lifestyle and prove that “size isn’t everything.”

The other day, I finally pushed myself to buy only one chicken. You might be thinking “so what” but (TRUST ME) toting home one lonely bird in a bag was, for me, a really big deal. When I think about it (and believe me I do)…I haven’t bought only one chicken in probably 20 years! When the kids were home I would never leave the market with less than three chickens regardless of how I planned to prepare them.

So, on this night I cooked one chubby roasting chicken until crisp and gorgeous and then I sectioned the bird and arranged the pieces slightly overlapping on a plate (no, not on a platter). I also served two kinds of fresh vegetables, which is what I always do, but this time the amount was appropriate for just us. I also had on the table a bowl filled with wispy baby arugula leaves and another with some home-roasted red and yellow peppers, which I always have in the fridge. There was a plate holding a wedge of soft, creamy blue cheese and next to that were two carafes; one of balsamic vinegar and the other, filled with a favorite extra-virgin olive oil from Lucca. I heated up only half of a crusty Italian loaf, saving the rest for the next night to make garlic toast and intending to slice, toast and pulverize the rest into breadcrumbs. The table was set, the lights were dimed, the candles were lit and the wine was poured. Jon and I ate together and, as usual, had a great time.

That night I came away from the table seeing (and trusting) that the “size” of the platters had nothing to do with maintaining the feeling I so valued in my home. That treasures of the heart, when fueled by nurturing intentions, are not shrinkable. And that the excitement and joy I feel when creating and sharing a colorful, texturally diverse, aromatic and love-filled landscape is something I will never have to part with (and neither do you!).

Anyway, these days I’m anxiously awaiting my children who are coming home this week for Thanksgiving. So, once again, I get to lug out my big pots!

 I’ll soon be exploring and sharing more about the concept of abundance, the desire for success and about  what’s at the heart of both of those; the on-going pursuit of achieving and sustaining the feeling of happiness …

Until then, no matter how many there are at your Thanksgiving table, enjoy every minute!

Love to you and yours…

Lauren

Comments (2)

2 Comments »

1. Hi Ms. Lauren,

   Today is the day before Thanksgiving and I am preparing the meals using your receipes that I learned at yoru kitchen long time ago for CBS morning show. This Thanksgiving dinner has become our family tradition for almost 15 years. My kids love the stuffing and pumpkin pie the best..
   Thank you for sharing yrou love of cooking.

   HAve a Happy Thanksgiving !!

   Toko Sato

   Comment by Toko — November 26, 2008 @ 7:26 pm

2. Hi, Toko! How are you?? It is SO wonderful to hear from you–it’s been such a long time since I did “An American Thanksgiving Feast for the Japanese” for CBS This Morning. Paula Zahn came to the house and we all had such a geat time! It made me so happy to help you to learn how to cook all kinds of traditional American foods. Please tell me how you and your family are. I miss you all (the entire class) and think of you often. Thank you for being in touch and please feel free to stay in touch with any questions or comments that you have.

   Love,

   Lauren

   Comment by Lauren — November 26, 2008 @ 10:30 pm

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