Well, I’m doing it! Yes Siree, I’ve forgotten all about being the “hostess with the mostest” …now, I’ve become fixated on having the compost with the most toast! (Listen, if I ever start cooking specifically for my compost, just shoot me…)

Actually, not too much bread goes into my compost bin, just LOTS and LOTS of kitchen scraps. All day long I’m adding stuff to my kitchen compost pail…and, by the way, if you’re considering getting this, before you spend the money on any one in particular (whether an outdoor compost bin or an indoor kitchen scrap collector), you need to really think about how you cook (meaning HOW MUCH garbage you create on a daily basis!). This is important …and I learned this the hard way.

Geeze…I never realized how many kitchen scraps I can accumulate in one day, let alone an entire week!

Between my morning coffee grinds, egg shells, vegetable trimmings of all kinds and now, even all the old vegetables hiding in my refrigerator, things that I’ve deemed not worthy of my meals —well, NOW they’re deemed perfect for a higher purpose!! By the way, no animal products (or fats in general) should be added to a compost bin (it attracts all kinds of animals). That means no meat, bones, dairy or whole eggs and nothing that’s been cooked in or adored with fat (thus, no buttered bread…just stale bread.)

So, back to the bins…
I did lots of research on the Internet about all the different kinds of outdoor bins to use. I’m not going to go into all the different choices since I’m not versed enough to describe them well. So, I’m going to put links on the bottom of this page with all the information I have accumulated about composting. And, I’ll be updating it regularly (and dating the additions), so check back often to see what’s new.

I first made my choice for an outdoor compost, a big Compost Tumbler, by Achla Designs. It stands on metal legs and, as it’s filled, it needs to be turned several times every few days. So, I went to my local hardware store (Foley’s) and ordered it. (Days before my compost bin arrived, I started collecting my stash of scraps. )

For my indoor bin, I ordered a cute-looking covered container specifically for compost collection (indoors). Before it arrived, I (of course) had to put my organic garbage somewhere, so I put it in a tall, covered garbage pail that I had, one that wasn’t being used. During the day, while cooking, I would pile my scraps into a large bowl and then dump them into the pail and attach the lid. (Look at how much stuff I had after just a few hours of cooking!…)

An 8-quart bowl full of kitchen scraps...

After adding to the bowl, I lay a kitchen towel over the top and just keep cooking…

Then, at the end of the day, I add the contents of the bowl to my tall garbage pail (always lined with a bag).

And I close the lid (tight).

So, in a few days, the ”cute” scrap container finally arrived and, all I can say is, “what a waste of money!”  It was way too small for me.

Here’s what I got…

Are they kidding??

I filled this thing up in about 5 minutes (no joke).

Now…if you don’t cook that much and you like the look of the above pail (it really is nice looking for a scrap collector and it has a filter which (they say) eliminates odors, but a tight lid works just as well), you can go here to get one. (In addition to stainless, these also come in black or white ceramic.)

Anyway, by this time, my indoor bin was loaded to the brim and I really needed to get this stuff outside and into a true compost bin.

Finally…it arrived.

In a big box, all disassembled (oy vey).

Lucky for me...my gardener and carpenter were at the house!

I, of course, was VERY GOOD at providing refreshments!….

Ginger snap cookies make any day (or job) a bit nicer…

Here's the assembled compost tumbler.

Here it is, opened and full of grass clippings and kitchen scraps...

At this point, we needed to add lots of hay (anything brown and dry, like dried leaves, straw, mulch or saw dust). This is because kitchen scraps and grass clippings (greens) are high in nitrogen. If that’s all I used, not only would the ph be off but the mixutre would also become too dense (wet) to create a healthy compost …so the browned (dry) components, add carbon which help to balance the ph and also to help aerate the mixture as it decomposes properly.

I don’t know if this is considered cheating, but I’ve been told that sprinkling in a compost helper is a good idea, so things get started right…

Now, we just secured the top and gave it a good spin (remember, it’s a tumble-compost bin)…

The next week, my gardener asked me if it would be OK to add some worms to the compost bin. I said YES! (Clearly, this wasn’t the “girlie” side of me that jumped at this opportunity…). I learned that worms help to create an amazing compost and can actually increase the yield of a garden by 30 to 40%! This is because they eat the waste and then excrete a completely digested and organic compost. However…I’m aware that this will get VERY ugly. Apparently, as the worms eat, they quickly multiply so ….well, you get the idea.

So, now, all I do is add to the compost bin when I have a good stash in the kitchen. With each addition of scraps, I also add browns, to keep things in balance and if things get too dry, I add some water to encourage the  right kind of bacterial growth and then I just give it all a good spin. (As the bin becomes more and more full, spinning becomes more and more difficult….) I ordered a second compost bin since the first is now full.

I mean business! Same time next year, I plan to have an awesome vegetable garden…

Once full, you let it sit (spinning every few days and watering if things get too dry) and the heat of summer does it’s job and actually cooks the materials inside the compost bin. Then, when everything becomes “dirt” like  (when the solids have totally decomposed), it’s then considered “compost” and can be used in the garden. (I’m still a bit foggy on this part since I’m at the first stages of things. I’ll be keeping you abreast of how things look at each stage…).

Since I live in the northeast, apparently the compost will go to sleep once the climate gets cold …again, this part is new for me.

As I mentioned, there are some links for other forms of compost bins… so check them out, below, so you can make the choice that best suits you. There are also some video sites below, so you can get more of a visual grip (and advice) on the composting process.

Have fun!! And, please remember that I’m always open to learning from your words of wisdom.

Added September 21, 2009: http://www.geocities.com/green_cache/compost.html

http://www.compostbins.com/composting-tips.cfm

http://www.plantideas.com/compost/

http://www.geocities.com/zip80917/Compost.html

Video (E-How Expert Village)

http://www.ehow.com/video_4467177_when-compost-heap-ready.html

http://www.ehow.com/topic_1868_composting-beginners.html (page with lots of video links)

For a selection of compost bins:
http://www.compostbins.com/

http://www.theveggielady.com/

http://www.theveggielady.com/theveggieclub/herbs101_silver.php

Tags: backyard composting, composting, composting bins, composting containers, home composting, how to create a compost, how to store kitchen scraps when wanting to create a compost, kitchen compost bins, tumble compost bin, types of composting, what not to put into a compost, what's the best compost bin, worm composting

The title of this page is (as is often the case with me…) meant both literally and figuratively. If you read my last entry, you know that I’ve made a commitment to finally become more knowledgeable and deliberate when it comes to farming my own vegetables. I made this decision after my first taste of “this years” batch of homemade pickles, which are probably the best mixture I’ve ever had; sliced Kirby cucumbers, Spanish onions, sweet red bell peppers and garlic, all pickled together. Yes, the recipe is mine but, no, not only didn’t I grow the vegetables used but, this season (garden-wise) has been the worst one yet.

What makes a pickle recipe worth what it takes to grow?

Because making, sharing and, of course, eating pickles makes me happy, it just seems logical that growing them would simply expand on an already good thing. Similar to when making yeast-breads, no matter how crazed I get with my work and/or life in general, “putting up” food seems to sweetly straddle me between eras, enabling me to incorporate some of the best parts of a hands-on, simpler time into today’s techno-laden-busyness. And, since my pickles are what actually inspired me to, for the first time, really focus on the process of successful farming, it seems clear that “this” is the recipe that I should strive to grow first!

So, instead of continuing to blame “the weather Gods,” the aptitude of my gardener, or my lack of vast acreage (and experience)….

I have decided to apply the truth that, for me, has been applicable to achieving anything deemed important in my life: In order to become knowing, skillful and, ultimately, successful, I’ve always had to do the inner work to push past the fear of failure (which is not only felt initially but also incrementally, all along the way), to do the physical reasearch to learn, and to stay committed to practice even when it’s not particularly convenient (or always feeling like “fun” in the traditional sense). For me, remaining devoted to those three steps is what eventually enables me to understand any “new” dynamic well enough so that I can create my own unique “spin.” (Now, that’s fun…) To me, this is the recipe for growth personally, professionally and, I’m sure, as a new farmer. “Farmer”…I really like the way that sounds!

So, that’s it!! Next time, this year, the goal is to enjoy (and share) my pickled vegetables knowing that I was integral to the entire process, from the bottom up.

Of course, I won’t make you wait until then for the recipe…

Bread and Butter Pickles with Onions, Peppers and Garlic

Whether you grow or purchase your produce, if you’ve never made pickles before, I highly suggest taking the plunge. I’ll gladly help you (and I might even save you some money on products that I own and have found to be inferior).

Ok, First let’s talk about the equipment you’ll need before making this recipe and setting out to “put up” foods...

Most of the equipment listed is available either at a well-stocked hardware store or a store meant for professionals and/or serious cooking enthusiasts. If not, you can go to this website and you’ll find most of what you need. For the canning pot, you’ll come across a couple of different kinds. One is heavy, stainless steel and quite pricey. I own this and, it’s not my favorite. My pick, for processing jars in a water bath is the one I’ve been using for years, an old-fashioned, over-sized, light-weight, (and much more affordable) speckled kind (pictured below). These are usually in hardware stores and, if not, I’m sure they can order one for you. The crinkle cutter is an optional and fun way to create a more whimsical-looking sliced pickle.

Special Equipment:

• Large canning pot with lid removable rack

My choice for a canning pot.

A canning rack. (It comes with the canning pot.)

• Crinkle cutter (optional)

Not necessary but a fun tool to make crinkle-cut pickles (and fried potatoes, too!)

• Canning tongs

Canning tongs: These are a very important tool to safely submerge and retrieve filled jars from the boiling water bath.

• Wide mouth funnel
• Quart and/or pint size jars (preferably wide-mouth) with un-used discs and screw-top bands

Here a wide-mouth funnel is placed in the open end of a wide-mouth jar.

• 10-quart nonreactive, heavy-bottomed pot
• Large ladle
• Thin, heat-proof rubber spatula
• Labels for jars

A bit about the ingredients …

About the vegetables: When “putting up” foods, the vegetables used (whether purchased or home-grown) they need to be in great shape. That means no bruises, no wrinkles, no holes which can indicate possible insect infestation and everything needs to be scrubbed well and dried. Whole onions, just need to be peeled and wiped with a damp paper towel, before slicing.

About the salt used in pickling: Pickling salt is, for canning purposes, the most clean-tasting because it’s completely additive free. It also produces pickles with the clearest brine, so it’s my pick to use when making pickles.

It’s not easy to find pickling salt so, to save yourself a lot of running around, just order it from the source provided in the ingredient’s list. If you decide not to use this, you can use Kosher salt but, when a recipe has specifically requested the use of pickling salt, you should add about 2 tablespoons more Kosher salt, per 1/2 cup pickling salt. (This is not a hard-fast rule, though, so hopefully any recipe you use will address using different types of salt. I have, below). Because of it’s purity, you’ll need to keep this salt sealed, or it will clump. If it does, just push through a sieve or pulse in the food processor.

It’s important to measure your acid, sugar and salt accurately.

Ingredients: For 5 quarts or 10 pints

• 5 pounds firm Kirby cucumbers, washed, round ends removed and the rest sliced 1/3 to ½-inch thick (you want 3 generous quarts sliced cucumbers)
• 4 to 6 large garlic cloves, peeled and sliced
• 3 large yellow onions, sliced and separated into rings
• 1/2 cup pickling salt (if unavailable, use kosher salt, adding 2 tablespoons) for the cucumbers, plus more for the peppers (see below)
• 3 large red peppers, seeded and sliced into thin strips
• 3 tablespoons pickling salt (or 1/4 cup kosher salt), for the peppers
• 2 1/2 cups cider vinegar
• 1 cup water
• 2 tablespoons yellow mustard seed
• 1 1/2 teaspoons celery seed
• 1 1/2 teaspoons turmeric
• 2 1/2 cups granulated sugar

To set up: Place the canning rack inside a large canning pot and fill with cold water. Turn on the heat and, once the water boils, reduce the heat so the water maintains a simmer until needed. Run clean quart and/or pint jars through the dishwasher and leave them inside until ready. Or, using canning tongs, lower the jars in the pot of water, opened side up, after it comes to a boil. If so, bring the water back to a boil, after adding the jars, and turn the pot to a simmer until needed. Fill a 4-quart pot half -full with water and bring the water to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, add the screw top discs and bands and also stick in your ladle. Maintain a below-simmering status. (While the water is heating in both pots, you’ll be working with the vegetables.) In a separate pan of simmering water, steep the top to the jars (the discs and screw top bands). Add to the water, the bowl-end of a ladle , a thin heat-proof rubber spatula and also the rubberized ends of canning tongs. Make sure your wide-mouth funnel is very clean.

To salt and soak the vegetables: In a large, nonreactive bowl, combine the sliced cucumbers, garlic, onions and 1/2 cup pickling salt. Mix well with your hands and allow the vegetables to stand for 1 hour. Then, cover the mixture with cold water and let stand, uncovered, for 1 1/2 hours. Meanwhile (just after adding the water to the vegetables), in a separate nonreactive bowl, combine the sliced peppers with 3 tablespoons pickling salt and let stand for 45 minutes. Cover the peppers with cold water and let them stand for 45 minutes. (All of the vegetables will be ready to proceed at the same time. ) Swish the vegetables around with your hands, then drain both in a colander, shaking well but do not rinse.

The cucumbers and onions are salted and soaked together. The peppers are salted and are about to get soaked. The timing is designed so that all of the vegetables will be ready to be heated in the brine together, at the same time..

To pickle the vegetables: In a 10-quart, nonreactive pot, whisk together the vinegar, water, mustard seeds, celery seed, turmeric and sugar and bring this to a boil. Add all the drained vegetables to the boiling liquid and stir well to combine. Bring the liquid back to a boil at the center, stirring occasionally to make sure it’s all very hot.

To set up to process vegetables: Place a large, wire cooling rack on your counter. Place a clean kitchen towel over the rack. Lay another towel to one side of the prepared rack and lay the drained discs. If the jars are in the simmering water, use canning tons to carefully remove them, draining them completely. If in the dishwasher, simply remove them and place them on the towel (remember, the jars should be very warm to hot before being filled.) Place the jars, opened end down (for now), on the towel. Bring the water in the canner back up to a boil, then invert the jars, open ends up. Using the sterilized ladle, transfer the hot vegetables into the jars. Ladle the pickling liquid into each jar, dividing evenly, so the jars are filled (leaving 1/2-inch of headroom at the top). Take the sterilized rubber spatula and run it down the side of the filled jar to remove any air pockets from within. Immediately place the drained disc on top of the jar and screw on the band–not too tight! (If using any other type of tops on your jars, sterilize and attach to jars following the manufacturer’s instructions).

The vegetables are now ready to go into the sterilized jars.

To process the jars: Uncover the pot of boiling water and, using canning tongs, carefully lower the jars (one at a time) into the pot and onto the rack. After all the jars have been added, they should all be covered by at least 1-inch of boiling water.

The jars were just lowered into the boiling water...

As soon as the jars are in place, cover the pot and, when you see steam escaping from under the lid, begin timing. Process the jars for 10 minutes, once you see steam. (The heat should be high when processing. If, however, the jars start to rattle and the pot begins to spit water from under the lid, reduce the heat a bit to help to calm things down. The water should, though, always produce steam.)

After processing: While the vegetables are being processed, clean up the area where you filled the jars. Replace the towel on the rack so everything is, once again, very clean. After 10 minutes in the boiling water, uncover the pot and turn off the heat. Using canning tongs, lift the jars out of the water and bring them to the towel lined rack. (It’s a good idea to, while using your working hand to secure the top of the jar with tongs, hold a folded towel in the other hand and rest the jar on the towel as you walk to the rack.) Stand the jars, right side up, on the towel-lined rack and let them cool undisturbed for 12 to 24 hours. Soon after removing the jars, you should hear a series of audible “pings” indicating that the seals on each jar are secure. (You won’t always hear this, though. Most important is that the tops of the jars are not bulging but are, somewhat concave.) Place the cooled jars it in a dark cool place for 1 month before serving. If done properly, the jars will keep for 1 year or longer.

Just after being processed. Let the jars sit, undisturbed, for 12 hours....And wait at least one month before opening! (Waiting is the hard part...)

Upon opening a jar of pickles…

Safety note: Whenyou open a jar, if you see a foaming substance or smell a foul odor or, if before opening, the lid is bulging, do not taste it to see if it is OK…. WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT!!

Here’s a formally written and printable copy of this recipe (along with a shopping list). I hope you try it. Have fun and DO leave a comment so I know how it’s going! More on composting is coming soon!

Tags: a great recipe to use to learn to grow vegetables, are you determined to become a good grower? how to use growing vegetables as a way to also grow as a person, bread and butter pickle recipe, canning equipment, canning pickles, how to choose vegetables when wanting to make pickles, how to make homemade pickles, how to make pickles, how to make the best bread and butter pickles, Kirby cucumbers, pickles, pickling salt

I just opened a jar of delicious homemade bread and butter pickles (a formal recipe and a separate blog is coming) and, there’s something about “putting up” foods that make me really want to be a good gardener, which I’m NOT. Oh, you don’t believe me?

Here, look at this years “crop”… (and it’s already the middle of August!)

My ENTIRE crop of peppers!

 Oh, forgive me but I spoke too soon!

I just found one lonely green bell pepper...

And…

  Here’s my load of baby carrots (No, I’m not proud of this…)

Can you believe the size of the tops in comparison to the carrots?

 
 
Jon actually did the picking. He, I’m sure, was SO excited when he saw the height and lushness of the tops…
 
Thinking “WOE, we’re going to have a MOTHER load of man-size carrots!”
 
Well, when I saw those teeny-weeny carrots laying in my kitchen, all I could think about was when I was pregnant. Each time I gave birth I weighed a ton (only slightly exaggerating) and, after pushing out the children, each time I would hold them in my arms and think “all this weight for such an itsy-bitsy person?
 
THEN, there are the tomatoes…
 

Yup, this is it, so far.

An embarrassing update…(regarding the above tomato). Jon just read my blog and told me (sheepishly)… “That tomato on your blog isn’t ours.” I said “What??”  He said “I got it at the farmer’s market. I said “but it was sitting next to that pile of embryonic carrots… I thought for sure we at least grew that tomato!” (Actually, I found it pretty hard to believe that I could grow an heirloom tomato, but I thought that maybe it was some kind of poetic justice, considering the sorry shape of everything else).
 
Ok, back to the so-called garden.
 

I think there's an onion in there, somewhere...

At the beginning of the season, we started out fine… we planted tomatoes (as usual) but this year, with all the rain, the plants just disintegrated and we had to remove the entire lot….

This section was originally filled with tomato plants.

And that’s not the only area that’s defunct…

Yet another sorry section...I think we planted zucchini here (have no idea what happened--I thought ANYONE could grow zucchini!)

So, this is all that’s left of my 2009 garden… a lot of bushy carrot tops, a few tomato plants and, of course, that one (albeit a lovely one) green pepper. 

My only hope ...

Ok, so up until this point, I’ve been a lousy vegetable grower. I admit it. And, although I know it’s too late for this year’s garden, it’s never too late to get better at something that’s deemed important. Actually, having a so-so garden never really bothered me before but, this year, after seeing the total demise of a plot of land that I always trusted to at least produce SOMETHING respectable… I’m finally motivated to fix this. And, I think you’ll agree that the only place to go from here is up!
So, as of today (it’s now a public commitment), I am determined (by this time next year) to become good at growing delicious vegetables! And so, for those who actually know what they’re doing, I would truly appreciate any (and all) the advice I can get! (I really get so turned on by being a beginner! So much to learn and then “do”…love it.)
 
First things first, after consulting the Internet, I’ve decided to create a compost…
(Oh, this part should be easy since I create more food-scraps than anybody in the county–make that COUNTRY!). I’ve ordered a compost bin from my local hardware store and it’s scheduled to be delivered this Friday (I’ll show you what it looks like, when it arrives.)
To get ready, everyday this week, I’ve been accumulating coffee grinds, egg shells, CARROT TOPS, potato peels, and any other kind of  food-scrap that’s not animal protein (and no bones)…which attract animals (I already have enough problems with squirrels). 
 
This is how I set up when I’m doing my food prep…

When cooking, I have one bowl out for food-scraps and one bowl for trash.

 As I cook, I just keep adding to the separate bowls…

And I keep dumping the scraps in a big garbage bin (which is now in my kitchen but will SOON be going outside …)

Almost to the top and this is after just three days!!

I keep it closed and I’ve attached sticky tags so no-one mistakenly adds anything inappropriate. I’ve become VERY protective of my baby compost (don’t cross me, here)!

My "inside" compost container...

So, I’m feeling ready (and excited) to begin this new journey. I hope you’ll come along for the ride. And, please, DO share your words of wisdom with me. (Really, I would appreciate it. I need all the help I can get.) Wish me luck!

Next blog…about those pickles!

Tags: advice on creating a great compost, how a lousy gardener becomes a good grower of great vegetables, how to create and maintain a healthy compost, how to finally become a good grower, the journey to becomming a good food grower

I was asked to share a few words of wisdom for a written “Guide” that’s being assembled for a young, beautiful bride who is to be married this October.

Ok, here goes…

Over the years, I’ve learned many things about the overall (and ongoing) pursuit of happiness. Not just from being blessed with an extremely special marital relationship but, oddly, I’ve discovered so many answers about inner, emotional freedom from teaching in prison, a place of confinement and considerable darkness.

The secret for creating and maintaining a life of love and light…

For most of us, we wait for others to be for us what we need so we can “be happy.” We want to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be appreciated and, ultimately, to be “heard.”

Instead of waiting for life to bring you love–which is what we normally do, you can choose to “be” what you want to see! If you speak and act in ways that epitomize what love and compassion are in ALL your interactions, you’ll see how quickly you will generate the feelings and quality of life you’re after– all by yourself! I’ve found that this is the most efficient way to be in control of your own happiness and to become a source of light to others.

Of course, making a great roast chicken certainly helps, too…

Tags: advice on a happy marriage, happiness, happy marriage, How to be in control of your own happiness, how to get emotional freedom, how to have a happy marriage, life lessons on maintaining a happy life, pursuit of happiness, recipe for a happy marriage, rules for a happy marriage, secrets of a happy marriage, words of wisdom for a new bride

“OH, I SO WISH I COULD SING LIKE THAT!”… I said to myself as Jon and I sat glued to the TV. We were watching Jennifer Nettles, the lead singer in the band Sugarland,  and we were mesmerized.  ”What a power-house,” Jon said..  and I added “What a gorgeous example of having real ownership of one’s craft!” We both couldn’t (wouldn’t) budge…we didn’t want her to stop singing (ever).

While watching her, I actually started having an inner conversation with God (Jon didn’t know…). Without moving my lips, I whispered to God…”You know, I’d actually consider coming back and taking this life-long ride again if you would promise me that I could sing like her…PLEEEASE, I want to make music!…My WISH of wishes is to move people like that! “

As I write to you now, I’m listening to her, through my headphones. My head is tilted down, my eyes are closed (Yes, I can type with my head down and with eyes closed. I’m in a “feeling-place” where I’d like to stay.

It’s so interesting how easy it is to isolate what we see and hear and then form all kinds of broad-stroke opinions …

Like “she must be happy because she sings like an angel” and “If I could sing like that I would never have a bad day–I would be able to just show up, open my mouth and everyone would love me because my voice would carry with it that kind of command; the kind of power that propels people to sit up and listen…to pay attention and really hear what’s in my heart.” Then I started thinking about what the lyrics say in the most successful (embraced) songs, especially in Country Western music. They’re all about experiencing extreme heartache and doing the best one can to hopefully overcome (at least until the next time she/he (we) need to climb back up the emotional mountain…). Hmmm….do I really want to trade places and “be” in someone else’s shoes??

I started to think about musical power, defined…

Great music seems to encapsulate humanity’s truths, softened by and wrapped around foot-tapping, torso swaying, feeling-inducing melody and, of course, by that most important component; the vessel that helps the package actually penetrate…. a real person. Personal conveyance. …even in a song without any words–it’s the body that enables the inner spirit to unleash itself onto a keyboard, a set of drums and/or in any instrument used in any band or orchestra. 

Something about this topic started to feel oddly familiar and got me wondering if this kind of power is limited to music…

Today, August 8,  is the two year anniversary of my father’s death. 

I remember the afternoon before he passed, I was standing in my kitchen and suddenly became filled with a sense of urgency.  The night before, I had been with him and my whole family at his dining room table. We were all eating dinner together, my father at one end, in his usual spot, and my mother at the other. His head stayed tilted down, eyes fixed on his plate while moving his fork slowly around the food, taking in only a few small savory bites. We were all trying to keep the mood bright by talking as usual but my dad stayed silent–it was as if he was trying to record the sound of every-one’s voice so he could take it with him forever. I swear I could hear his thoughts! I’m sure that he knew that this was the last time he would have his family all around him at the table. He was right.

The next day, although I certainly couldn’t know that my dad was just hours away from the end, I felt an overwhelming need to bake for him–somehow knowing that, this time, it would be the last time.  There was a raw pastry dough in the refrigerator and, being peach season, I decided to make my father a fresh peach tart. As I drove to his house the tart, still warm and beyond aromatic, sat next to me in the passenger seat.  While driving, my right foot and both hands, by this point in his cancer,  felt numb and the car seemed to kindly carry me and my tart on automatic pilot.

Fresh Peach Galette

I came into the house and he was, as usual, propped in a therapeutic chair, with the back of his big, round, silver head visible. The TV was on. So, tart in hand, I stood in front of the 5 o’clock news and managed to muster my usual “up” tone with “Hi Dad, wanna see what I made you?” For the first time, my dad said “Laur, I’m in bad shape. I can’t even look at it.” 

Up until this point in his ordeal, my cooking would always really perk him up. For a few minutes he would try to forget that his belly was full of cancerous fluid and he would pretend that he could eat all his favorites. Not today. Not ever again.

So, I put the tart aside and, at that moment, I realized that it wasn’t about my dad eating the tart since he hadn’t been able to eat more than a few mouthfuls of anything in 4 1/2 months. I think the sense of urgency I felt, standing in my kitchen, was because I so wanted him to be able to experience my love for him, one more time. To be serenaded by my peach tart, a song made just for him.  

So, I guess I’m a musician, too! (Who knew??) 

At first, I must admit, I felt a bit bummed, after succumbing to the truth that (in this lifetime) I’ll never sing like Jennifer Nettles. But, then I remembered another truth; that there’s all kinds of ways to make music and, clearly, my way of creating and sharing a lifetime of “greatest hits” is in and from my kitchen. Here, I’ve formed a rock-solid partnership with my instruments forming another, albeit different, type of “power-house.” 

By cooking, all throughout my adult life, I’ve fixed sad days, calmed worried souls and conveyed the deepest devotion I could muster. I’ve been able to create soothing food aromas that have, like clockwork, lured and captured people, bringing them to their seats. Cooking has evoked a kind of trust so intimate that people actually take, deep inside, things created with my bare hands. Whether sweet or savory, simmered, seared, baked or roasted, when food is prepared and presented fearlessly I’ve, most often, been rewarded with wide-eyed wonderment and have provided toe-wiggling comfort. And, like a great song, each dish is built, shared, digested and then able to be revisited.

The Point: I think that it’s a waste of precious time to wish I was like anyone else and that, regardless of the industry, it’s the passion in a person’s heart, their devotion to hone their particular skills and their unwavering determination to share both–it’s this marriage that provides the key elements to creating a true concerto which, to me, is being a positive force to another being–without necessarily having a picture perfect story.  And so, like in those sad songs, although in the end we can’t always be triumphant, sometimes it really can be enough to just show up and sing our hearts out.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted a blog in a few weeks. I’ve been SO busy cooking and baking! …The kids are all home from school coming and going and their friends, too, have been in and out. It’s been amazing and, I must say, pretty exhausting (especially when added to my work). But having the kids around is such a gift. And, cooking my children’s favorites (as well as their friend’s favorites) has always been my way to convey my understanding of what makes them happy on the inside. (Of course, I’m no dope…I also know that doing this is great way to keep them all coming home!)

Julie, my middle daughter, had her boyfriend Peter here for the weekend (from Los Angeles).  This was the first time Jon and I got to meet Peter and I wanted him to feel comfortable in our home. So, I did what comes naturally…I started grilling Julie about what he likes to eat. She told me that “Peter eats everything” (I immediately liked him (A LOT)…) and that he loves berries of all kinds so, the plan became to include berries every day in our meals. …which, in mid-summer, certainly isn’t hard to do.

Anyway, I’m moved to write to you now because I just finished THE best blueberry muffin I’ve ever eaten. NO…I didn’t buy it (so silly).

Here they are, just out of the oven…

Blueberry muffins with huge tops that boast a macadamia nut and sugar topping.

I had forgotten how good they are. Beyond good...

I cut the muffins apart where they kissed at the top, and then unleashed them from their tin onto a wire rack.

So, during Peter’s stay,  one morning it was ethereal stacks of blueberry buttermilk pancakes for breakfast (I didn’t take a picture because  pancakes don’t wait– certainly not without suffering.)…Then, the next night, for dessert, I made a gorgeous mixed-berry, free-form tart with an amazing,  jam-laced cream cheese filling) …

See? I told you it was gorgeous...The pastry is completely baked first on a hot pizza stone, then cooled and filled.

This recipe is coming soon to the Great Recipes section ….

And then came the muffins which were so good I just had to write to you and urge you to take advantage of summers abundant supply of blueberries and make them yourself. The only difference in the recipe provided on the site, and the muffins that I just made, is the topping. Instead of plain sugar, in these, I used a very delish sugar-nut topping that I keep in the freezer as a “ready and waiting” topping for a variety of muffins and always on my banana bread.

All kinds of sweet toppings and  savory crumbs sit sleeping in my freezer…
Here’s what the “topping” difference looks like in the baked muffins…

Muffins baked with a plain sugar topping.

Muffins baked with nuts and spices in the sugar topping.

One Great Banana Bread

My neice, Elizabeth, had mentioned to my daughter that she felt in need of comfort because her dog just had surgery so I made her this (above) banana bread.  Then, today, I made an identical one for my daughter, Jessie, because I saw her face drop to the floor when she saw I only made one loaf, for Liz, yesterday.

Seems to be that regardless of the age of the recipient, banana bread absolutely spells c-o-m-f-o-r-t. And, in my house, I’m always ready and able to be a provider simply because I can’t seem to walk past a pile of really ripe bananas in the market without taking them home like stray children (no joke).

One of life's great treasures...

The point: I’ve found that whether the dish is sweet or savory, making the favorite foods of those I care about and/or want to get to know better has become this amazing way to convey a highly valued (and repeatable) form of personalized caring –and an almost instantaneous route to establishing a profound kind of interpersonal connectedness. Yes, it takes some time and forethought to provide custom-made comfort but, to me, this effort has a huge (and quite far-reaching) payoff when I want someone to not just know (by hearing) but to also really feel how important they are to me. So, I highly suggest that you ask those that you hold close questions about their taste preferences and make mental notes of their answers. You won’t believe the sweet look of surprise on the face of the lucky recipient  as they learn, in all kinds of delicious ways, that you were really listening…. (You also might want to think twice before you turn your nose up at a pile of really ripe bananas.)

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